Choosing a college

If I could give a message to high school seniors and their parents, I would tell them that a college choice (or a non-college choice) is not a report card on 13 years of education or 18 years of parenting. There is no final judgment. As with every stage of life, the key is finding the right fit for the next stage of personal development. It’s not about what sounds good to your friends and relatives. It’s about what is going to help you grow and thrive.

I’m finishing my third round of this process as a parent of a graduating senior, and I have some hard-earned lessons I hope can help other soon-to-be grads and their nervously hovering parents through what seems like a monumental decision: Where next?

The right answer all comes down to fit. What culture, environment and people are the right fit for you? How to evaluate the vibe of different campuses? How to know where you will feel at home and find your people?

I can’t give you answers. But I can give you resources and tips to help you through what can seem like a perplexing and fateful decision. This is real life, so there is no perfect: every choice has its trade-offs. The best you can do is to do your research and make the choice that is best aligned with what is important to you.

Bottom line, there are two parts to this process: 1) what are differences among my college options and 2) what is important to me in my college experience?

There’s a tendency at the end of this painful process to give a hasty yes to the highest-ranked college you get into (i.e. the one that sounds most impressive to others). I don’t recommend this approach, any more than I recommend choosing an employer based on job title or a life partner based on their resume. You will be living at this campus with these people for four years. It’s worth taking a pause to evaluate whether day-to-day reality of it is a good fit for you.

Don’t rush the choice. You have until May 1 to decide. Getting to the values part of this equation is digging in to who you are. I know you are worn out by the process and just want it to be over. But being an admitted student is the fun part. You are no longer desperately (but trying not to sound desperate) begging for approval. They chose YOU. Let them tell you what they have to offer. They are eager to answer your questions.

Take time to look at your choices side by side. Every one has pros and cons. Maybe this campus is your favorite, but that one has a better department for your major. Maybe this one has great school spirit, but you aren’t really into the hard-core party culture of campus life. Maybe you like the small size here, but that bigger school has more ethnic diversity.

It is true that you can and will find your people anywhere. But it can be more comfortable if the culture you seek is the dominant culture of the school. You could be one of the few artsy people in a sporty school. Or one of the few nature lovers in an urban crowd. But you are likely to feel more integrated if you pick a school with more people who value what you value.

Before I get into my college-research tips, a quick disclaimer on what I won’t cover in this post. Going straight into a four-year college isn’t the right choice for every student seeking higher education. I am huge fans of these two options, which I’ll flag as a brief aside:

• Two-year community colleges, which are tuition-free in California and have potential for guaranteed transfer to University of California campuses. This is a great option for students who want to live at home, save money, transfer to a better school than they could have gotten admission from as a freshman, and spend half the price for the same diploma. It’s a smart, practical choice.
• Taking a gap year to work and/or explore non-academic interests before entering college. I love this option as a change of pace and some real world experience for burned-out seniors who could use a mental health break from the GPA grind.

I also won’t cover the very large issue of cost of college, since this is highly specific to individual colleges, family circumstances and financial aid options.

For now, I’ll stick to the question of how to get dig down on the differences between four-year colleges and how to weigh your inevitable pros and cons. I don’t recommend social media as your guide, as you tend to find the same kind of influencer-type personalities filling every feed.

DIGGING FOR DECISION GOLD

Start with the basic differences between colleges. In broad strokes:

• Size: What is the undergraduate population? How many graduate students are on campus? This has an impact on how big the school feels. It also has an impact on how focused the school is on the undergraduate experience (graduate students are older and tend to live off campus). A bigger school has the advantage of many activities and a broad range of people, but it can also mean larger class sizes, less personalized attention and difficulty getting the classes you want/need to graduate in four years.
• Public vs private: Public universities tend to be large in size, with less geographic diversity and greater socio-economic diversity than private or religious colleges. Public schools tend to draw primarily from the state they serve because tuition is substantially lower for in-state students. Private schools generally offer smaller class sizes and more personalized attention, but the cost can be multiple times that of in-state public school tuition.
• Urban/suburban/college town: What is the setting of the school? Is it an enclosed campus? Compact or sprawling? What is nearby? Some students like a school that is its own contained world. Others don’t want to feel restricted to campus and like having a town or city nearby.
• Geographic location/region: Every region of the country has its own subculture: casual West, dominated by large public universities; traditional East, with a concentration of smaller liberal arts colleges; friendly Midwest, with a mix of large Big 10 schools and smaller colleges. I won’t attempt to categorize the multitude of cultures in the South except to say that SEC football culture is strong as well as Greek life in many of the large public universities in the region.
• Weather: Remember you’ll be on campus August to May (for semester-based schools) or September to June (for quarter-based schools), so don’t make your decision based on how nice the weather is in summer.

Going deeper, these are my favorite sources and what I consider the best information you can find at each:

Niche – This is my first stop for college information online. It’s a quick, easy snapshot and has by far the most student reviews. Statistics can be wonky/inaccurate, but Niche provides a good overview of the school.

• Report card with A-F grades on academics, athletics, campus, diversity, party scene and value.
• Word polls from students on school culture and campus life.
• Largest number of student reviews of any site I’ve found. I find it useful to look at the reviews by rating. You can click on 1-star reviews, then 2-star, and work your way up to the 5-star reviews. Instead of fixating on one person’s experience, look for themes that jump out. Haters may think one school is too preppy, but preppy may sound like a perfect fit for you. Others may complain that students are always in town and not on campus, but you may love the idea of an active off-campus life.

Unigo – I love Unigo’s student surveys focused on campus culture. Its database of colleges is not as comprehensive as Niche’s, but there’s a lot of great insight for the colleges listed. Take note of how many ratings there are for your schools and keep in mind that a small number of ratings is not a very reliable sample. So take the input within the context of your other sources.

• Student surveys on political activism, safety, sports, fraternity/sorority, professor interaction, intellectual environment, alcohol/drugs.
• Student ratings on housing, food, facilities, class sizes, academics.
• Student commentary/reviews.

College Factual – The design of this site is pretty terrible, but the information is solid. The numbers tell a good story about each school.

• Freshman retention percentage: One of the best indicators of student satisfaction is the percentage of freshman who return for sophomore year (national average is 68%). To me this is a combination of satisfied students as well as an institution that cares about the undergraduate experience.
• Percentage of full-time faculty: A great statistic you don’t find elsewhere (national average is 47%). Many colleges employ a large number of part-time instructors. A low percentage of full-time faculty isn’t great for instructional consistency or teachers being invested in the school and students.
• On-time graduation rate: Percentage of full-time students who graduate in four years (national average is 33%). Allow some slack for crowded public universities at which it’s common for students to roll into a 5th year to get the classes they need to graduate.
• Student:faculty ratio: This does not directly translate to class sizes but it does give an indication (national average is 15:1)
• Ethnic diversity: If you click on the ethnic diversity percentage in Unigo, you’ll get to a page that has pie charts for other diversity measures, including ethnic diversity of staff, geographic diversity and male/female split. I find this data is very different across schools and is a big differentiator for the kind of mix you can expect from one campus to another.
• Geographic diversity: I like to see what the blend is between local students, out-of-state and international students. A school with a high percentage of local students may also have a less-robust on-campus social life if homesick freshmen can duck home for a weekend of home cooking and private laundry facilities.
• Male-female split: We’ve flipped from men being the dominant gender on college campuses to women now outnumbering men. The elite schools still try to stay close to a 50-50 balance, but many schools these days are 40-60, 35-65 or even 30-70. A significant skew can create distorted gender dynamics on campus, so it’s worth checking out.

Campus safety statistics – Now I’m really exposing myself as a data nerd. There’s a fine line between a party school and a culture of pressure that can be dangerous for young men and women on the receiving end. These statistics from the Department of Education help clarify the relative risks of campus environments. You can pull up data for one school or compare across up to four schools.

• Campus security – robbery, assault, car theft, burglary, weapons possession
• Substances – drug and alcohol violations
• Safety for women on campus – rape, dating violence, stalking

CAMPUS VISITS

Research aside, the best way to gauge cultural fit is to visit campus in person. You have a finely tuned antenna to sense where you belong and where you feel out of sync. Take a tour and ask questions of your student guide. Spend a few hours walking through campus, people-watching in public spaces like the library and the student center, and listening to conversations in coffee shops. You will come out of it with a firm sense of whether or not it’s a comfortable place for you.

If helpful, you can reach out to admissions offices before a campus visit to see if you can sit in on a class, preferably in your potential major. If there is a particular activity you are very interested in – intramural sports, student newspaper, dance team, cultural organization, etc – you could also ask if there is a student you can speak with to learn more about it.

If it’s not possible to visit campus, there are other ways to get the same spidey sense. Find opportunities to talk to current students by phone. Admissions offices will be happy to set you up with a current student, or you may want to go through academic departments if you want to talk to someone in your major to learn more about the program. You can also watch YouTube videos by students aimed at describing elements of campus life, such as dorms, dining halls, or activities at the school that you may want to join.

Things to look for on a campus visit

• Engagement – are people interacting? Observe students and administrators.
• How do people look – happy or stressed?
• Are students walking alone or in groups?
• Are social centers active?
• What’s the library vibe? Are people collaborative or isolated?
• Pick up any campus paper or publication to peruse – see what’s happening or what issues are current on campus.
• Sit in a coffee shop or the student center and listen in on the tone of conversations.

Potential questions to ask a current student

• How is dorm life? What do they like and not like?
• How far are classrooms from dorms?
• Is it hard to get the classes they want?
• What’s their biggest class size? Smallest?
• What are campus traditions?
• What are popular campus activities?
• Where do people hang out on campus? Off campus?
• How is the dining hall food?
• What’s an average weekday like?
• What’s an average weekend day like?
• Do people stay during the summers or go home?
• What percentage of students live on campus? Are there many commuters?
• Is study abroad popular / encouraged?

DECISION TIME

You’ve gathered all your information. Talked to the people. Gotten to know each school like a new potential home. You’ve visited the properties, in person or virtually. Where do you feel most comfortable? Which place seems like a place where you can fit in, learn, stretch and grow? You get to choose your new family. Which will it be?

Your compass may point firmly in one direction, in which case, congratulations! You have made a solid informed decision with full confidence.

Often the choice is less immediately clear. The pros and cons tip the scale one way, then the next. One minute you think it’s a great idea to try living somewhere new and different, the next moment you’re reluctant to venture so far from home. You are 100% convinced that school has the best department for your major, but campus life at the other school seems so much more fun.

A few other considerations:

• Flexibility on majors: Some 80% of students change majors at least once, so it’s worth considering how easy or difficult it is to change majors at the schools in consideration.
• Required coursework: Graduation requirements vary hugely school to school, and even major to major. Some schools have an extensive range of requirements to encourage a broad liberal-arts basis of knowledge. Other schools have very few requirements and allow for more freedom for students to select their own course of study.
• Big pond vs small pond: Some people love the excitement and fresh challenges of being a small fish in a vast pond. Others feel dispirited about being just a number. It’s easier to stand out at a smaller school and to form relationships with professors who may become mentors. The size of pond you want is also relative to (and can be a reaction to) the high school environment you are coming from.
• The Goldilocks effect: In a learning environment, it’s nice to feel like we’re somewhere in the middle between people who are struggling more than we are and people who seem to know everything already. But it’s also good to think about whether you’re the kind of person who is more encouraged by being behind braniacs or more invigorated by feeling comfortably ahead. You want to be in an environment that is going to put you in the best position to succeed.

Still can’t decide? Try this:

• Tell yourself at bedtime it’s going to be Option A. It’s decided. Go to sleep. When you wake up, before you get out of bed, check in with your heart and your gut. If you feel happy and excited, you’re done.
• If you feel uneasy, spend some time probing for the source of that discomfort. Something about Option A did not sit right with you. Using that information, decide on Option B.
• At bedtime, same thing: It’s going to be Option B. This time it’s really decided. Go to sleep and once again check in with your heart and gut in the morning. They will tell you when something is still not aligned. Work on this until your heart and your gut agree you’ve reached the best decision out of the choices available.

When the best choice doesn’t feel like the best outcome

The college application process is long and draining. You may have difficulty mustering enthusiasm for an outcome that is very different from what you originally hoped would happen. I really get that.

Here’s my last piece of advice, if you aren’t convinced that your final choice is the best place for you for the next four years:

• Look at this as a one-year experience. Maybe you aren’t excited about four years at the college you selected. Maybe it’s not your forever place. But it certainly has plenty to offer if you plan to jam everything that is interesting about that school into one exciting freshman year.
• Go in with that mindset and try it all.
• Do well in school, and your chances of transferring to the place of your heart’s desire will be far better than the first time you applied.
• And the downside scenario is that you’ve also given yourself the best chance of loving exactly where you are.

Best of luck to you! The future is as bright as the energy you put into it. I believe in you.